It’s hard being a complete douchebag these days. Movies have trailers that specifically tell you to turn off your ringer. With the sullying of hands-free headsets, the “you think I’m talking to you, but I’m actually talking to someone more important” trick that used to be great fun is now played out. Next to go was the “even though I’m actually talking to you, you’ll notice I’m wearing my Bluetooth earpiece at all times in case someone more important than you wants to talk”. Sheesh, it’s almost as if people are deliberately making it rough for you to show how unimportant they are.

Hey bro, thanks for calling me back. Synergy!

Yes, it’s time to bring your douchbaggery into 2008 with this amazing Bluetooth handset.

The idea is simple. Bluetooth microphones and speakers are now getting so miraculously tiny, they can be placed into a ring. But, as a fucking douchebag, you might ask, “why not two rings?” You could put the microphone into a pinky ring and the speaker into a thumb ring and I think you know where this is headed…

For additional douchebaggery, make them talk to the finger (not included).

You’re once again the envy of all your douchebag friends as you use the universal symbol for “hold on, I really need to take this one” to, in fact, “take this one”. Confuse those Luddite Midwesterners by talking to “imaginary friends”. A quick “call me” gesture after a lovely date could actually be arranging a booty call once you’ve dropped off the Nice Girl. The possibilities are endless!

What are you waiting for? Buy one today! Operators are standing by… no wait, they… they’re actually talking to people… that’s really confusing.