First, you have to love Apple products. They’re really pretty on the outside, but they run some sort of Unix type thing on the inside. Just like webmasters. We have to be comfortable using Photoshop one second and vi the next. Of course, if you don’t actually use a Mac to do your webmastering, you’ll have to balance things out by owning lots of iPods (they come in several “gotta catch’em all” sizes).

Next, you need to be super-organized. Webmastering can be very stressful, what with managing a co-located server running all the very latest versions of lots of Open Source software, editing standards-compliant XHTML Strict files by hand, and manipulating custom graphics pixel by pixel. To handle all of these high-tech tasks, you need a Moleskine. That’s right. Nothing says “I’m a cutting edge webmaster,” like a 200-year old notebook. Feeling a little Luddite? Balance it out with a Fisher Space Pen and you’ll be right as rain (which, incidentally, you could write during—the Space Pen can write underwater, upside down, and even in space!).

Finally, you’re going to want to drink a lot of coffee. This will do two things for you. One, it will give lots of energy to accomplish all of the unreasonable tasks that are constantly asked of you by your tech-ignorant staff. Second, it will make you jittery and paranoid so all tasks asked of you seem unreasonable and that you are vastly more intelligent than everyone else.

I’m sure I have other secrets that make me a smart webmaster. Some may have to do with findability, progressive disclosure, or the application of Zipf curves to traffic patterns, but they’re harder to grasp. Just stick with the basics (above) and you, too, can be a smart webmaster. Oh, and go vote for RAN in the Squidoo poll.